Wiki source for My Husband And I Are Going Through An Endless Dry Spell
Dear Jane,
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My husband and I have been married for around five years and, until recently, everything had been great.
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A few months ago, however, my husband stopped making any effort to initiate sex. We used to enjoy a fairly active sex life - usually being intimate at least three times a week.
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Now we haven't had sex in months, not even on Valentine's Day, and not even when I try my hardest to get things going (I put on sexy lingerie and it didn't work!)
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Then, last week, I clocked why we're having this awful dry spell, and I'm more upset than ever.
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He was showering and I was making us dinner. I decided to turn on the Bluetooth speaker and listen to some music but it automatically connected to his iPhone. To my horror, porn started blaring out at full volume.
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I quickly switched the speakers off, but I then started eavesdropping whenever he showered to see if it was a one-off or a regular occurrence.
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Sure enough, each time he took a shower, I heard the porn quietly playing in the bathroom.
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Dar Jane: My husband and I are going through a dry spell. I've just realized the depressing reason why.
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Be the first to commentBe one of the first to commentComments
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Do YOU have a question for Jane? Ask it here:
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Dear Jane...
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Frankly, I'm scared that my husband [[https://fendesa.com/ Kontol]] is addicted to porn, and worried about what this will do to our relationship.
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And what if the content he is watching is [[https://www.biggerpockets.com/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&term=violent violent]]? Might he start mistreating me in the bedroom?
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I have so many questions, but I haven't dared confront him yet. I'm not quite sure what to say.
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From,
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Pause the Porn
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International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column
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Dear Pause the Porn,
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I'm going to start with the end of your letter where you assume the porn he's watching is violent and will lead to you being mistreated in the bedroom.
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There is no reason to think this.
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You're also assuming that your husband is addicted. And while that could indeed be possible, I'd remind you that his watching habit appears to be new behavior.
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You have a golden opportunity to address his use of porn before it gets out of control. So I'm wondering why you haven't been able to talk to him about it.
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If you are feeling in any way ashamed then please don't.
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As for not knowing what to say: tell him exactly what you have told me.
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He may try and deflect with anger and blame you for monitoring him, but ignore that and keep bringing the conversation back to the point in hand: his new porn habit.
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Something is amiss with your sex life and you have now discovered his secret.
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Keep judgment out of the discussion. The issue is less his use of porn and more his loss of interest in you.
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You have, not unreasonably, deduced that the two are linked. But there might be something else at play here. Whatever the reason, a lack of [[https://search.yahoo.com/search?p=intimacy intimacy]] in a marriage this young is problematic.
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I suggest that you seek counselling together to determine how to deal with this.
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Dear Jane,
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About two years ago, my mother asked me if she could temporarily move in with me.
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At first, it was fine, but now it's becoming too much and she has long overstayed her welcome.
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My mother is in her mid-60s and divorced. When she first asked to live with me, she said it would only be for a year and that's what my husband agreed to.
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Now we are on year two and it's affecting my marriage.
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We have a small house with three kids and tensions are rising - especially when my mother offers unsolicited parenting advice.
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Last week I found out that she has run into financial difficulties and is being sued by a creditor for non-payment.
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Hugely embarrassing, I ended up being served with her court papers in front of my neighbors!
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Now I've discovered she is trying to stay with me longer. I say discovered because she didn't ask me but instead roped my children into convincing me and their dad to let her stay on.
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It's revealed a side to my mother that I really don't like.
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She is wildly irresponsible with money and complains about not having a male companion but doesn't make any attempts to get out there.
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I'm sick of her playing the victim. She makes subtle comments about how she 'doesn't know how she will get by' if she moves out of our home.
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Of course, I love her very much, but I fear our living arrangement is ruining our relationship.
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From,
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Daughter Dread
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My husband and I have been married for around five years and, until recently, everything had been great.
---
---
---
---
---
---
A few months ago, however, my husband stopped making any effort to initiate sex. We used to enjoy a fairly active sex life - usually being intimate at least three times a week.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Now we haven't had sex in months, not even on Valentine's Day, and not even when I try my hardest to get things going (I put on sexy lingerie and it didn't work!)
---
---
---
---
---
---
Then, last week, I clocked why we're having this awful dry spell, and I'm more upset than ever.
---
---
---
---
---
---
He was showering and I was making us dinner. I decided to turn on the Bluetooth speaker and listen to some music but it automatically connected to his iPhone. To my horror, porn started blaring out at full volume.
---
---
---
---
---
---
I quickly switched the speakers off, but I then started eavesdropping whenever he showered to see if it was a one-off or a regular occurrence.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Sure enough, each time he took a shower, I heard the porn quietly playing in the bathroom.
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
Dar Jane: My husband and I are going through a dry spell. I've just realized the depressing reason why.
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
Be the first to commentBe one of the first to commentComments
---
---
---
---
---
---
Do YOU have a question for Jane? Ask it here:
---
---
---
---
---
---
Dear Jane...
---
---
---
Frankly, I'm scared that my husband [[https://fendesa.com/ Kontol]] is addicted to porn, and worried about what this will do to our relationship.
---
---
---
---
---
---
And what if the content he is watching is [[https://www.biggerpockets.com/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&term=violent violent]]? Might he start mistreating me in the bedroom?
---
---
---
---
---
---
I have so many questions, but I haven't dared confront him yet. I'm not quite sure what to say.
---
---
---
---
---
---
From,
---
---
---
---
---
---
Pause the Porn
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column
---
---
---
---
---
---
Dear Pause the Porn,
---
---
---
---
---
---
I'm going to start with the end of your letter where you assume the porn he's watching is violent and will lead to you being mistreated in the bedroom.
---
---
---
---
---
---
There is no reason to think this.
---
---
---
---
---
---
You're also assuming that your husband is addicted. And while that could indeed be possible, I'd remind you that his watching habit appears to be new behavior.
---
---
---
---
---
---
You have a golden opportunity to address his use of porn before it gets out of control. So I'm wondering why you haven't been able to talk to him about it.
---
---
---
---
---
---
If you are feeling in any way ashamed then please don't.
---
---
---
---
---
---
As for not knowing what to say: tell him exactly what you have told me.
---
---
---
---
---
---
He may try and deflect with anger and blame you for monitoring him, but ignore that and keep bringing the conversation back to the point in hand: his new porn habit.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Something is amiss with your sex life and you have now discovered his secret.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Keep judgment out of the discussion. The issue is less his use of porn and more his loss of interest in you.
---
---
---
---
---
---
You have, not unreasonably, deduced that the two are linked. But there might be something else at play here. Whatever the reason, a lack of [[https://search.yahoo.com/search?p=intimacy intimacy]] in a marriage this young is problematic.
---
---
---
---
---
---
I suggest that you seek counselling together to determine how to deal with this.
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
Dear Jane,
---
---
---
---
---
---
About two years ago, my mother asked me if she could temporarily move in with me.
---
---
---
---
---
---
At first, it was fine, but now it's becoming too much and she has long overstayed her welcome.
---
---
---
---
---
---
My mother is in her mid-60s and divorced. When she first asked to live with me, she said it would only be for a year and that's what my husband agreed to.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Now we are on year two and it's affecting my marriage.
---
---
---
---
---
---
We have a small house with three kids and tensions are rising - especially when my mother offers unsolicited parenting advice.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Last week I found out that she has run into financial difficulties and is being sued by a creditor for non-payment.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Hugely embarrassing, I ended up being served with her court papers in front of my neighbors!
---
---
---
---
---
---
Now I've discovered she is trying to stay with me longer. I say discovered because she didn't ask me but instead roped my children into convincing me and their dad to let her stay on.
---
---
---
---
---
---
It's revealed a side to my mother that I really don't like.
---
---
---
---
---
---
She is wildly irresponsible with money and complains about not having a male companion but doesn't make any attempts to get out there.
---
---
---
---
---
---
I'm sick of her playing the victim. She makes subtle comments about how she 'doesn't know how she will get by' if she moves out of our home.
---
---
---
---
---
---
Of course, I love her very much, but I fear our living arrangement is ruining our relationship.
---
---
---
---
---
---
From,
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Daughter Dread
